So keeping in true form! You can see I let a whole year go by without posting on my blog. My MIL was just saying at the dinner table tonight, it's funny how we are so obsessive in some areas and yet procrastinate in others. I have been wanting to write on here but felt a dryness in my writing for far too long. (Not a heads up for anything profound to be coming!) I can't remember the last time I took a picture with my camera, I believe it was Mia Kate's 1st birthday in Feb. Part of that being I took 50 something pics and most of them turned out blurry. I really need to upgrade my camera. And what is there to write without pictures?
Well....R turned 6 and is shooting up like a weed. Drives me absolutely nuts from the moment he wakes up till he goes to bed! Sounds awful I know, but it's our season we are in :) He has trouble entertaining himself and moves on and on from one thing to the next, too fast for me to prepare the next thing, and so I have gotten lazy in my parenting with him. I'm praying about that, Ha! He's a little worrier and tells me his friends moms are nicer cause they buy new toys for them, who raised this boy? His love for other people is deep and genuine. I see his (mommas) servant heart coming out, wanting to lift another one's spirits!
A is also shooting up, I think she will be our tallest. The pediatrician says a world famous pianist, with her long fingers. Guess I should start piano lessons? Still has a set of curls that always stops at least 4 or more people in a store, a week! She is a spitting image of my mother and some days I think more stubborn :) She loves when I read to her and refuses to learn the remaining "na" at the end of her name. So I have started calling her "alia" since that is all she will write. Her imagination is very dreamy and often I will sit close by and listen to the fun she is having all by her lonesome.
Always left to follow around, things taken from her, lots of things piled on her, chased, carried, just trying to find her niche in this crazy house is our sweet MK. She's really grown up in the last month or so, dropped the baby-isms and become more and more of a toddler. Believe me she can run with the best of the other naughty nanny goats living in this house. But there is always a smile on her face, even after she has really hurt herself, she's quick to pick herself up and move onto the next thing! SJust like her brother she started running before she walked! Uh-Oh!
We've walked quite a road these past couple of months. One that was filled with much strength to the floor falling out from underneath you. One filled with an anger I have never seen in my husband since I met him. Grief being relived over and over :(
We unfortunately had to give a kiss and say, "See ya later" to Neal's dad in April. He was young yet and we felt had to much left here to do. But are slowly seeing God's path for him was meant this way! Hubs has been doing much better, I know it will be up and down. But when you're in that pit, man, is it ever dark! I thought to myself, I can totally support him, I walked it! But it's soooooo different when it's not you and you want to take care of someone who does not want to be cared for. Make Sense? I know, not really. It's like one of my fav Coldplay songs. "Fix You" I wanted to fix, but could not speed the process nor slow the enormity of the pain hitting all at once down. It's crazy! God has been faithful, and has walked every . single . step of the way with us. HIS hand has not unclenched ours!
Now a woman, who they are calling widow. Must "Walk On" Each day she must saddle up, and keep moving forward even though every fiber of her being wants to scream for it to all stop, for just one fleeting moment, so she can catch her breath. So she can have that moment/memory and cherish it as HE brings them to her! They are footprints I NEVER want to walk!
So we are trying to provide comfort for her, here, in our home for the last months or so. We'll have a good day and then some days are bad! We keep relying on HIM to help us, help her, to take that next step. A huge step onto the unknown, a very scary unknown, one filled with WAY too much uncertainty.
And this is,
Where I'm At!
A New Season!
