Struggling

Today was a hard day. I just feel miserable. I am so big, I'm swelling, neuseas, dizzy, so tired and I cannot do anything. Like take a walk in the fresh air to try to feel better. The worst part of all of it is, I feel so guilty for even feeling miserable when it is the health of our baby at concern! Who am I to complain? The lord has abundantly blessed us with the time for her to grow and be as healthy as possible. And I have the audacity to speak my suffering.

After talking with my sister-in-law (jen, who is going to school to become an rn) I think a lot of of it has to do with the baby's position right now. It's so uncomfortable. She is wedged head down in my pelvis and I think her face is towards my back. And I am pretty sure she is on a nerve. So after some coaxing from my husband I took a pain pill to try to help. (Poor neal and what he's had to put up with, he's probably asking god to revoke the sickness and in health vow about now!)

8 weeks down of bedrest and possibly 8 more to go. I was at the doctors today, they are allowing me to cut back on the procardia, (contraction stopping medicine). I have been feeling more sick and dizzy lately. So hopefully this will help with everything.

Everynight I point to my belly and tell rowan his baby sister is in there. The other night he walked up to me and points to my belly and says, "Baby". Neal and I warmly looked at each other and laughed. Now rowan likes to do it more often. And of course I love it. Not sure if he really understands, being 18 months, but it's darn cute. I have been giving him baths at night, which has really been helpful to neal, it gives him a 1/2 hour or more to himself. Rowan is happy when I give him a bath, but screams at neal when he does it. So it's less time for neal to have to listen to him fuss! Which is a plus.

Hoping to sleep well tonight. Well........to sleep tonight